Grief it saturates my bones, it terrorizes my mind, and cracks my heart wide open.
It pushes the edges of what reality was.
It changes the rules.
It leaves me naked in the storm.
Drenched with vivid memories of what was, what isn’t and what will not be.
It demands I feels the depths of desperation, the clinging to the past, the fire of rage in my belly,
The gut wrenching movement of my breaking Soul.
Grief pulls everything into questions, throws the mystery of life into my waking hours, and leaves me fumbling in my fragile humanness.
Grief - haunts me, stretches me, pushes and pulls at what was.
Grief torments me with sweet faded scents, words not said and an awakening to what no longer is.
Grief wraps me into a dark cocoon, where the flood of my tears, saturates my skin.
Falling into the quivering of trust, the exhaustion of the fight and the surrender to the release of intensity throughout my body-mind-soul.
Grief an aching into my bones, of moments taken for granted, of time gone bye.
Boiling Blood coursing though my veins, when all I want
Is life back together - as if it was uninterrupted.
Grief brings memories unforgotten, hugs not given, laughter not shared,
It rocks us until we shed every tear.
Grief - brings in mortality and if opened, the acceptance of the Soul’s infinity.
As I Grieve, Mourning takes over,
It rumbles though my veins.
Tears open my heart, exhausts my ability to think and understand why.
Mourning takes me to my darkest moments
I am told... it might just set my Soul Free...
It untethers that which needs to expand, in the quiet moments from my raging mind. I dare to surrender.
Into the unknown of what was said, not said and wished for.
Mourning does not make sense, have a predictable pathway, or is gentle with the Living Soul.
It opens the doors to a new story, to new beginnings, to more of my Greatness calling.
Into uncharted water, unimaginable thoughts, what I don't know I don't know.
When I allow the process to unfold there are glimmers of beauty,
I know I am more of the light from where that comes from.
I need time,
Time to own it all,
Dust of the ashes,
And Rise into the unfolding of the rest of my Life.
~ Nancy Hanlon
Photo Credit: TRUEnancy
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